When I am tired and sore I am not a happy camper. So when the kids start acting up I get even more grumpy and probably say things I wouldn’t usually say if I had gotten sleep or my shoulder didn’t hurt. Lack of sleep and pain are NEVER good excuses for being a grumpy mommy. One of the things I learned…rather re-taught myself…this weekend was that I NEED to start CLOSING my mouth and PRAYING before I SPEAK! YIKES!
The worst moment the entire weekend was on Sunday afternoon. We had been outside working in the yard (miss Abi was sleeping). We had already had a rough morning with Caleb…the usual, not wanting to get ready for church, fighting it every step of the way. So when we were back in the house after a healthy dose of fresh air and sun, everyone should have been happy happy happy…right?? I’m trying to make supper, our kitchen is very small, and Caleb is standing right next to me (I can’t move without stepping on him) complaining he is hungry, Abi is screaming about something in the living room– “MOM! MOM! MOM!” Brian is cleaning up all the yard work stuff…it feels like chaos and I feel like I’m going to explode!!! I threw my hand up in the air and yelled…”THAT”S IT!!! Everyone get in the car we are going to go get supper! ” Caleb started crying (I think I scared him) Abi is still yelling, and Brian has this confused look on his face! I said, “I just can’t take all this noise! I’m trying to get supper together, but apparently I’m not going fast enough for Caleb, so lets just go get something….please!” My shoulder was throbbing and I was getting a headache. Again, neither of which are good excuses to just fly off the handle.
I asked Caleb if he wanted to go get McDonalds or if he wanted to wait the 10 minutes it would take for me to make grilled cheese and soup….he agreed to wait. I found him a snack for while he waited and gave him a hug. Abi calmed down and had a little snack as well. You might be thinking…Man this women is nuts! Believe me, I felt nuts!
While I finished making supper I prayed … a lot.. and just asked God for some peace. I don’t know why I was so sensitive at that moment, we had actually been having a great day …. after getting ready for church and before supper making time. I asked Him how things could change so quickly and how I could let myself get so upset so fast!? I don’t like feeling like that, I certainly don’t like my kids seeing me like that.
In that moment, I felt a warm “hug” like I was being wrapped up in a blanket….peace. I often wonder if God feels the same way about us…me! We want something…we want it NOW! Or we want attention…NOW! I want the answer to MY questions, NOW! I want things to be different, NOW! I can be just as demanding as my own kids! That moment of peace taught me that I need to look to Him more often. I need to stop DEMANDING and start RELYING and LISTENING. Life can get pretty chaotic…and when I am at the bottom of my “just take a breath and start again” pool, I need to look to Him for my strength. I’m learning….
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. ~Romans 15:5-6
The day ended with some snuggles with my kids before they went to bed and Brian sending me to see Miss Pamela so I could have a break…he is a great husband and daddy! A true blessing! 🙂