For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you. (Psalm 139: 13-18)
Oh to have the eyes to see myself this way. Yesterday I had a bad self-image day. I was out at a store and happened to catch a look at myself in a mirror. I felt ill! I did not like what I saw. I didn’t like my hair, my skin tone, my posture, my clothes, my ankles! NOTHING! I didn’t like any of it! It took everything in me not to cry right there. I held it together until my walk this morning with Pamela where I let it all out! Poor girl….she’s amazing!
By the end of our walk I was feeling better. I don’t know if I will ever “Like” how I look. I wonder if I will lose all this weight and still see me as I am now. My hope, as I make the journey to a better lifestyle, I will also get a better head set.
While I was driving to work this verse came to mind and a voice that asked me…”who’s eyes are you looking at yourself with? I made you, I love you and you are perfect because I am perfect!” There it is….I am perfect because HE is perfect! I don’t know how many times I have told friends that GOD DOESN”T MAKE JUNK! And it’s true! I guess I need my eyes checked…and this verse helped me with that. This health journey I am on is also a spiritual one. I have been given a body that is “fearfully and wonderfully made”. Now to SEE it that way!
Have a good week folks! New weigh in tomorrow! And possibly some BIG news (no I’m not having another baby! hahaha)